Zakhar – “Can Ye Feel So Now?”

“Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us.”

– Thomas S. Monson, “Finding Joy in the Journey,” October 2008

Today was one of those days when you are blessed to remember what “the things that matter most in life” are, and subsequently realize, with much chagrin, that you are not living in a way that gives them much priority. I have this experience every so often and it tends to follow a familiar pattern that looks something like this:

  1. Remembering one’s priorities
  2. Realizing the gap between one’s priorities and the reality of one’s lifestyle
  3. Feeling remorse for not giving one’s priorities proper attention/focus
  4. Seeking to repent and change one’s current lifestyle to better align with one’s priorities
  5. A few days or weeks of progress towards better focusing on one’s priorities
  6. Slowly (sometimes suddenly) losing the motivation/willpower to work as hard on one’s priorities
  7. Returning to one’s old lifestyle that puts priorities on the backburner
  8. An indefinite period of time when one is plateauing at best, rapidly declining at worst
  9. Remembering one’s priorities

I have always found Alma’s words to the people at Zarahemla – members of the church who had all experienced conversion at one point, yet drifted in their commitment – to be most poignant in this regard:

“And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?” (Alma 5:26, emphasis added)

On the days like today when I remember and reflect on my priorities, Alma’s words here, invariably, come ringing to my ears. If you have experienced a change of heart . . . can you feel so now?

Reflection on Alma’s words brings me to something I learned earlier this year while studying the Hebrew Bible, or Old Testament. In the course of my study I came across an interesting footnote about the word remember: “Remembering, [the Hebrew word] ‘zakhar,’ is often a verb of action rather than simply thought” (The Jewish Study Bible, pp. 315). This footnote significantly augmented my understanding of what the scriptures mean when they call us to remember (a word which, as I understand it, is the most frequently repeated word in the entire canon of LDS scripture). Alma is calling us to remember so that we might do something – and, one might presume, something lasting. Quite naturally, we find him preaching about the need for repentance only a few verses later: “Behold, [the Lord] sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith: Repent, and I will receive you” (Alma 5:33).

As grateful and humbled as I am to have these opportunities to remember, there is a cynical part of me that can’t help but lament, “This is just the beginning of a cycle I have experienced countless times before; why should this time be any different? I am damned to live in the loop ad infinitum.” When remembering leads to action (i.e., repentance), how can we ensure that it is lasting, and not something that lasts for merely a few days, weeks, or months?

Remembering “the things that matter most in life” is a blessing. Taking the extra step to ensure that this act is more than “simply [a] thought” is the challenging, albeit essential, part. Even more challenging is the process of sustaining progressive action, which is where the cycle tends to perpetuate itself in my model outlined above. I have yet to find a satisfying solution to the problem that we might call “enduring to the end.” Is the cycle inevitable, or is it possible to always live in a way in which one’s actions are continually and consistently aligned with one’s priorities? Clearly no one will be perfect in this regard, but I assume there are those who fare better than others, and not just by chance. I wish to learn from them.

Today I remembered for a moment what it was like to “sing the song of redeeming love.” But the heart is fickle and tomorrow is a new day with no guarantees. The day after that comes the return to the daily grind of work, the routine of suburban living. The noise and the distractions will follow suit. Will I be able to hear it then?

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4 thoughts on “Zakhar – “Can Ye Feel So Now?”

  1. Thanks for the insightful thoughts. I feel like the cycle you mention is an uncomfortably necessary part of “tasting the bitter” so that we can “prize the sweet”. While accepting oneself does not require condoning habits or actions contrary to one’s conscious, I believe that a large part of progression requires that we love with patience (especially ourselves). The cycle is somewhat misleading. I think of it more like a sinusoidal wave that perpetuates in time and nature. As we become closer to Christ, the derivative of such a curve becomes more constant (i.e. the time spent in the “upswings” of the cycle increases). While we still “cycle” and may never reach the upper limit (at least in this life), I believe that definitive changes can still be made.

  2. I agree with interstellar_pig. I think this cycle is part of the perfection process and a huge reason why we go to church each week to partake of the Sacrament, study our scriptures daily, pray daily, etc. Sure, sometimes we do those things without as much thought as they require to inspire change, but as we do them, our hearts soften, we reflect on our lives, etc. I have often thought it would be wonderful to take a half hour or so on Saturday to reflect on the past week, my priorities, how I’m doing with them, etc. and then to decide what changes to make before I take the Sacrament on Sunday. I have yet to really do this (a testament to the cycle of getting out of line with priorities right there), but I think this could also help.

  3. ありがとう。 最近つらい経験して 教会でのストレスのため このサイクルの下がっている期間 心がいっぱいになり 折れてしまいそうだった時に このトレーバーのページを読みました。 そしてinterstellar_pigのコメントを読んで 気持ちに平安をとりもどしつつあります。 本当にありがとう。
      トレバーを通じて主にあいしてるよ!ちゃんと見てるよ!って言われた気持ちがしました。  

  4. I think most people, myself included, get caught in this cycle because we try to align all our priorities at once, and soon get overwhelmed. Those who succeed are those who take one thing and work on that. Maybe they try to read their scriptures each day, and they don’t worry about the rest. Once they have gotten that one priority strait then they turn to another one, and in this way they continually make progress.

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